Monday 14 May 2007

Underwear

My new bra and I are not getting along very well.

I went to the shop and I selected a choice few, and, not unlike in recruitment, I looked at them, shortlisted and interviewed them. One was selected. This was important, the choice had to be right.

Now I am not a big underwear buyer - by big, I mean I do not purchase lots, I do purchase big underwear however. If knicker have legs, come up to my armpits and contain industrial strength Lycra, then we are on a winner. I wear my underwear until it's beyond redemption. Let's be honest here, I am 41 a size 18 and it's all heading south, so no amount of Janet Reger is going to make it look attractive; Tesco's own will do my dear.

But this bra, well it's something else. It makes my boobs look almost Jordanesque. Not that I am complaining about suddenly having a chest - I have wanted one for years, but why oh why, does it have to happen now. Why couldn't I have had mammoth boobs when I was in my twenties, when they mattered. Now, quite frankly they are just an inconvenience. No blouses will do up over my chest and the Year 9's, who are hormonal at the best of times have stopped looking me in the eye.

I think I need to get something less 'push up' and more 'strap down'!

8 comments:

Drunk Mummy said...

Secretary! Enjoy having your boobs while they still look good in a bra! Soon they will degenerate into that 'ski-jump' look, and then finally you will be tucking them into the waistband of your skirt.

The Secretary said...

Waist band of knickers I'm afraid!!!

Mutterings and Meanderings said...

Just put a press stud between the gaping buttons, then push your shoulders back girl!

Catherine said...

No, hang on the the chest and give the year 9's a big thrill. They call them Hormones on Legs at my school.

The thing I enjoyed most about feeding my babies was the impressive frontage I had then. Go for it.

Mopsa said...

Blogs on bras - don't you just love 'em? Pert at 40 - it's what we all need. I agree with M&M and Marianne. Out and proud I say.

The Secretary said...

M&M - tried thrusting the shoulders back and near look someones eye out.

Marianne - Yes I agree, but when you are escorting a year 9 from a lesson to the Heads office and your alone with him in the lift you'd rather be wearing a polo neck and a kaftan.

Mopsa - not pert, that left me a long time ago. Just pushed up and squeezed into submission.

lady macleod said...

Nonsense! Lift them high and hold your shoulders back. You never know who you will meet going out your door, and better for your back as well.

Anonymous said...

Boobs, boobs, boobs! Why does everyone else have an en-bon-point except me! Not fair!

Hilarious post Secretary - although I am reeling at the idea that ogling starts at the tender age of 13! Mein gott!

I have nothing to ogle, so they won't be ogling me!! ;-) Wear that bra with pride!