Distressed

I have been too distressed to write for two whole days.

I returned from work on Wednesday. I had not yet had my present from my husband, so I was quite excited. He is an excellent present buyer (you so know where this is going, don't you).

"Oh, your present is in the lounge.", He says when I get home. He is so excited about giving me my present that I am getting excited as well.

Now let me put this in perspective. Last year I received two tickets to The Producers on Broadway and he whisked me off to New York for the week without the boys. The year before I received a Louis Vuitton handbag, and so on, the presents are alway fab.

I unwrap the box - "Oh!", I say, it's a VAX carpet shampooer, yippee!"

I could not believe what I been given. Oh this is a joke present, my real one is in the box somewhere hidden amoungst the shampooer gadgets - oh no they weren't.

So I assembled the carpet shampooer and went and shampooed carpets with it. "Don't do that love, it's your birthday.", he says.

Through gritted teeth, I say, "You bought me a bloody carpet shampooer, I am going to bloody well shampoo carpets."

I tell people at work the next day and they are horrified. The Head emails him and asks is she can borrow it. He replies, No she is very emotionally attached to her VAX, so attached I slept in the spare room last night and she slept with the VAX.

Enough said.